On the highway to purgatory
by sofia313
Summary: Humans have their heaven and hell but what happens to Kol after he dies?
1. Chapter 1

_"We have a son, my love."_

_"Kol…"_

_"Kol! Stop pulling your sister's hair!"_

_"Come on, little brother! I am going to teach you how to use that sword."_

_"Kol! Did you take your father's horse?"_

_"Sure, little brother, I can tell you about women…"_

_"You kissed her? How was it?"_

_"Come Kol, I want you all to taste this wine."_

_"Forgive me, my son…"_

_"I did it for you! I will not lose any more of my children!"_

_"We do not have to be monsters, Kol."_

_"We are a family…"_

_"No! No, please! Please don't kill me!"_

_"What are you?"_

_"Demon…"_

_"Monster…"_

_"Someday you will pay…"_

_"Hello, little brother."_

_"Kol? It's ok, it's me, Elijah."_

_"You were in that coffin for almost a century…"_

_"I'm the hybrid! I can't be killed!"_

_"Oh Kol, you know I can't be compelled."_

_"I was hoping you would help your baby sister out…"_

_"This family was ruined a long before we knew about the cure…"_

_"Jeremy! Now!"_

Darkness. Kol blinked his eyes. What… He stood up and looked around. Where the hell was he? The place looked like some kind of wasteland. The ground was rocky and there were some stunted trees growing in it. The sky was dark, full of black clouds. There was nothing here. What the hell was going on?

Kol was starting to be very annoyed. Have that damn witch sent him to some backwoods? He would definitely make all of them pay. Who did they think they were dealing with? But first he had to get back to civilization. Unfortunately he had no idea which way to go. The damn place looked huge. Nothing but wasteland as far as the eye could see. When he would get his hands on that witch..

"Hi there", a woman's voice said. "You must be new."

Kol turned around and saw a woman who had a long blonde hair. She was wearing a long white dress. Kol grinned. He really felt like having a little snack.

"Hello darling", he said. "Are you hiking here or something? Do you happen to have a car anywhere near?"

The woman bit her lip.

"Right, ok, you don't know…"

"Excuse me?"

The woman sighed.

"Maybe we should start with something easy. I'm Lexi."

"That is a lovely name", Kol said smiling charmingly. "Is that a short for Alexandra?"

"Alexia actually, but that's not important. We really need to talk."

"Sure, love. I'm Kol."

"Ok, it's nice to meet you Kol. Do you remember how you got here?"

Kol raised an eyebrow. He didn't remember but that must be because of some damn spell.

"Why are you asking?"

The woman took a step towards him.

"Please, this is very important. Do you remember what happened before you woke up in here?"

Kol pressed his lips together. Was this woman some kind of new age hippie or something? He didn't have time for this.

"Look, darling, why don't you just take me to your car…"

She looked frustrated.

"Fine, I was trying to be sensitive but I guess I just have to say it. You're dead."

Kol looked at her for a moment and started to laugh.

"For centuries now, sweet cheeks."

She shook her head.

"No, no, I don't mean undead, right now you're just…dead dead."

Kol snorted.

"And you must be loony loony. But that's ok, I'm not picky."

He was just about to grab her when she suddenly touched his face with both of her hands. For some reason that stopped him.

"Think", she said firmly. "What is the last thing you remember?"

_"Jeremy! Now!"_

Pain. Flames… Kol gasped and backed away.

"What… No… This isn't real. This is some kind of trick."

The woman gave him a sympathetic look.

"No, I'm afraid not. You really are dead. But hey, so am I if it makes you feel any better."

"No it doesn't", Kol snapped. "Well this is just great! I was killed by a teenage boy!"

"Ouch", Lexi murmured. "I was killed by my best friend's brother."

Kol couldn't really hear what she was saying. He, Kol Mikaelson, had been killed by a pathetic human who wasn't even old enough to buy an alcohol. That was just…depressing. Wait a minute…

"So what the hell is this place anyway?" he asked.

"Not quite hell", Lexi replied. "But definitely not heaven either."

Kol wasn't in the mood for riddles.

"Meaning?"

Lexi smiled.

"Welcome to purgatory."

* * *

**What do you think? Should I leave this as a one-shot?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all for your feedback :) I have the whole storyline in mind but I wouldn't have continued this if you would have thought that one chapter is enough. I'm going to use many dead characters. That was one of the reasons why I wanted to write this. Lexi is one of my favorite female characters in the show so I thought I want to give this pairing a shot. What do you think? Good or bad?**

**Chapter 2**

Kol looked at the pale flames of a campfire. Everything looked…different. He hadn't notice it before but this place, this…purgatory was like a pale copy of the world of the living. He still couldn't believe that was actually dead. The thought made him angry. He should have ripped everyone in that pathetic town into pieces and burn the whole place when he had a chance. This sucked.

"Here we go", Lexi said while adding some more wood into the campfire. Kol had almost forgotten her.

"Why do we even need a campfire?" he asked annoyed. "We are dead, what difference does that make?"

Lexi sat down onto the rock and looked at him.

"It's true that we don't necessarily need it but I thought it might be nice. Many of us still remember what things like warmth felt like."

Kol looked at her sharply.

"Us? How many others are there?"

Lexi smiled.

"All the undead creatures that had ever died, so quite many."

Kol snorted.

"Where are they all then?"

"They are here, believe me. You can consider yourself lucky that I was the one who found you first."

Kol was just about to snap to her that he didn't need or want her company when it occurred to him that he could use some more information. After all, he knew nothing about this place.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Some of the residents here are quite…unpleasant. You see, this is like a prison; we are all stuck in here for…the rest of the eternity I suppose. Some of us only want a peaceful afterlife but the others…they like to cause violence and chaos."

Kol almost smiled.

"Wait, everyone is stuck in here? Not just "the bad guys?"

Lexi nodded.

"Yes. It makes no difference what we were like when we were alive, or undead, we are all still considered abominations. Crime against nature. This is where we all end up."

Kol thought about it for a moment. This was starting to sound interesting. If this was a prison, then he would find a way out. No prison would hold him.

"So how big is this place?" Kol asked.

"I don't know. But the community where I live isn't far so you are welcome to join me if you want."

"What community?"

"It's a place for those of us who prefer a peaceful life."

Kol rolled his eyes.

"Is there a reason why you didn't mention that before?"

"I wanted to give you some time to adjust this. Believe me, you're not the first new guy who I've run into."

"Right. So what are you doing out here anyway?"

"Walking. I like to spend a moment by myself sometimes."

"Aren't you afraid of these other residents?"

"Sure but I know how to avoid them. And they are usually too busy fighting with each other."

"So they don't have a leader?" Kol asked carelessly.

"I don't think so, they're not very organized. Most of them are more or less insane. I guess that happens when you are here long enough."

"How long have you been here?"

Lexi looked thoughtful.

"You know what, I don't know. What year was it when you died?"

"2013."

"Really? In that case I've been here for two years. Funny, it seems more like two days. But time doesn't really matter here. Many things don't matter. We don't need to eat or sleep or do much anything if we don't want to. It's a good thing to do something though; otherwise you might become just a living statue. That had happened to some of us."

Kol was damn sure that wouldn't happen to him. He had no intention of staying here.

"So what kind of afterlife activities are you recommending?" he asked grinning.

"Well, most of us have built ourselves some kind of home. Our community is nice but I have to warn you, the place is quite dead."

Kol snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Too soon?" Lexi asked.

Kol couldn't help but smile. He had never really thought about dying but this certainly wasn't anything he would have imagined. His mind was already formulating plans to use this whole thing for his advantage. This place wouldn't be the same after he would be finished. And he had to plan his revenge. No one could kill him without paying for it. No matter how long it would take, he swore to himself that he would have his revenge. But in the meantime he should try to act like a good camper. He would use this woman in order to get what he needed.

"I would really like to see this community", he said smiling. "A peaceful afterlife sounds good to me."

Lexi nodded.

"Alright, follow me then."

Kol couldn't help but to look at her behind when she stood up and turned around. He didn't have any problem following her.

"Sure, sweet cheeks, I'm right behind you."


End file.
